My Friend

So I realize this post may be similar to one I wrote about a month ago "Official Girl" but let's get into it anyway..

After some time of hanging out with someone/dating someone, however you want to put it, comes the question of "what are we?" Of course for some this topic comes up because they really want to establish some kind of "title" ::cringe:: for their relationship to each other. For some of us, it's to simplify our lives. You ever had someone ask you what you did this past weekend and let's just say you had plans with your special someone, you sit there just not knowing how to refer to them? I just think it takes longer to say and it may invite nosy people to ask questions if you say "oh, with this guy I've been seeing." And frankly it gets tiring to say after a while. Why isn't there just a simple word that means "the person I've been dating/hanging out with/seeing"? Sure I could just say "my friend" but sometimes you want people to know that it's more than a friend. And you may not want to start using phrases like "my boo" if you ain't even calling each other that.

Now, let me be extra clear on something. I am in no way looking for a title for myself or my special friend and our whatever-it-is LOL. Titles of any kind imply certain behaviors that people sometimes feel pressure to act on. I hate to think that things are ever "supposed" to be a certain way. Things are however you want them to be regardless of what you call each other. I know what I have and what I feel and that's it for me. And what will use when I refer to this person? Well I guess it depends who's asking and what I feel like saying.

Untitled.

As a female, I am guillty of not saying enough but still believing I will be understood. They say a closed mouth doesn't get fed and here I am starving. I know the solution to the problem, I just don't know exactly what I want to say or how it will be received. So I will remain here in limbo for as long as I can stand to. And to a good friend who will likely read this - yes I know I'm stupid.

Brain Mumbles

A lot of people like to point out how quiet I am. How I can be in a room full of people with multiple conversations going on but won't say a word. And it isn't only because I like to listen and observe. Sometimes I just feel like it's pointless to say anything at all. And I do know that some conversations are had just to be had. Not everything needs to have a point to be said. But I do wonder if sometimes I say too little. There definitely are times when I say too much. But I do know there are times when I should speak up and I don't.
Okay, I'm not totally making sense right now..what I mean is that I can probably stand to open myself up a little more to people. That's kind of what I hope to do with this blog but that's not saying much since I've always been better at writing down my thoughts than actually voicing them.

When I wrote this I was just writing everything that was coming to my mind, so this is pretty much the way my thoughts come in. And I thought it would be better to just leave it as is =-)

Just A Little Rant..

I just finished reading an article in Rolling Stone (Issue 1128 - April 14, 2011) titled "The Kill Team" by Mark Boal, and I can't even express how disgusted I am. The article is about some soldiers who blatantly killed Afghan civilians and took pictures as evidence of their deed. Where do I start to pinpoint how wrong this is? Killing an innocent person, no matter what race they are, no matter what people of shared religion or background do, has no reason. To invade someones country and feel entitled to murder men and children as a sport is crazy. One of the soldiers that is mostly spoken about has the characteristics of a serial killer. He would find men to kill and once dead he would chop off their pinkie finger and save it as a souvenir. And he still thinks everything he did was justified.

What the fuck makes the American government think we have such a great country when we are full of terrorists disguised as patriotic soldiers? I don't want to seem like I'm looking to taint the reputation of the real soldiers in our military but this kind of stuff is happening all over the place and no one is doing anything about it. Also, I've noticed that every time I have heard about these incidents it has been the Army, not other branches.

I know I usually don't get into such heavy political talk on this blog, but I am upset right now. I hate war. I think it's ridiculous that humans have such a need for power. That we can't seem to get along with others and realize that we are all flesh and blood. No matter your religion, your color, your sex, your language, we are all made up of the same cells.

Joy Ride

http://girlsarethenewboys.blogspot.com/2011/04/joypain-ride.html

I have the tendency to second-guess a lot of the choices I make. And I'll admit that I have asked myself if I really am happy in my current "situation" or if I have just grown comfortable in it..well after reading that post above (from one of my favorite bloggers) I can honestly say no, it is not just comfort. Actually I am sort of uncomfortable, but I ain't complaining.