I know that nowadays there's a lot of people complaining about finding a good man or woman, and I want to speak my piece on it. Some people (read: guys) think that it is very easy for a woman to find someone and that most of us are just complaining for no reason. I know also that a lot of women say it is easy for men to find someone but [supposedly] they are all dogs and break every woman's heart. I'm not sure I agree with either or really disagree. See, I have met a lot of honest men and women but I've also known a lot of douche bags on both sides. That's really where the problem is - you fall for someone they f*ck you over and then you don't really want to trust again.
Why nice girls finish last:
I've met some guys who are honest, and loyal but some dumb greedy b*tch decided to take advantage of that and now he doesn't want to trust another girl. Those girls piss me off 'cause I'm not one of them. I've always been an honest person, sometimes too outspoken and when I really care for someone I wear my heart on my sleeve for them. It's not fair to me to be deserving of trust but not receiving it because he is still harboring feelings of hurt. You might read this and say "well you probably do the same!" and okay, fine I do have my own bad experiences in the back of my mind but I don't hold what someone else did against the person I am trying to build something with at the moment.
I feel that you have to take the chance on someone if they are showing you that they want trust and that they deserve it. No matter what the past has presented you, you can't let it hold you back. Why deprive yourself of happiness and pleasure because of some worthless person who did you wrong? I'm gonna sound like a cliche even more now but you have to just let your experiences make you stronger and forgive that person. I know it's hard to forgive but holding onto negativity isn't healthy. Also, you really don't gain anything from it.
So all you nice girls be good to your nice boys..and nice boys if you find a nice girl, trust her.
Tuesday, June 29
Monday, June 28
Life Is Short.
This past weekend I found out that a guy I went to elementary school with passed away on Saturday. He is actually a cousin of one of my sister's friends and so I found out from her. When she asked me if I knew him I couldn't place his name or relation but once she showed me his picture yesterday I recognized who he was. Last night I had a hard time sleeping, simply from not feeling well, but also every time I closed my eyes I would see his face. It's not that we were very close in the past or that I even had contact with him since we were younger but it's very sad to know someone so young didn't really get to live his life. I think I have been lucky and spared from huge disappointments as such - excluding of course my Grandfather, who's death still makes me very sad but he was older when he passed away and I believe lived a rich, fulfilling life. I just can't imagine getting that phone call and knowing that this was someone who up until his accident was probably very active. I really hope that his family are okay though I know it will be some time before they will.
Rest In Peace J.C.
Rest In Peace J.C.
Sunday, June 27
My Weekend
Today was a busy Sunday for me. After battling with the alarm clock (cause my bed felt oh-so-good) I finally got myself out of bed to get ready. First I had a Dentist Appointment, then a Doctor's Appointment, and afterwards I was planning on stopping by my old job to see my old manager and maybe buy some more clothes.
So I know for most people going to the Dentist is a little nerve-wrecking and actually I was expecting some pain. I was thinking the worst: it's gonna be painful, i'm gonna need fillings, or i'm gonna get scolded for not flossing every day or brushing twice a day. Well I actually left a happy camper. Everything looked good, I got a cleaning and don't have to return for another 6 months. I even got my complimentary toothbrush and tooth paste.
In between my Dentist and Doctor Appointments I was able to go eat at one of my favorite places: Oko. It was one of the only reasons I liked working at NY & Company next door. They have delicious natural juices and sandwiches. No, they are not paying for my endorsement but I really love going there. I had the Gingered Beet & Apple juice and a Roasted Turkey sandwich. The juice is an acquired taste but I feel so healthy drinking it. I really wish there were something similar to Oko close to my job now so that I can eat good more often.
Next up was my doctor's appointment. Not very much to tell there, but it was another a-okay.
After that I was off to my old job - Rainbow - to visit my former manager and see if I liked anything. It was nice to go back and talk to him for a while. He is kind of a jerk sometimes but he's the kind of person that will be good to you if you are good to him. So I did stick around and catch up with him for a little while, and ended up buying some more clothes (with a discount).
Overall, my weekend was busy but it was good. I did enough clothes-shopping that I should be good for the summer. And it's good to know I'm healthy!
By the way if you'd like to check out Oko they have a location in Forest Hills (Queens) and Park Slope (Brookyn). Check out www.okoyogurt.com
So I know for most people going to the Dentist is a little nerve-wrecking and actually I was expecting some pain. I was thinking the worst: it's gonna be painful, i'm gonna need fillings, or i'm gonna get scolded for not flossing every day or brushing twice a day. Well I actually left a happy camper. Everything looked good, I got a cleaning and don't have to return for another 6 months. I even got my complimentary toothbrush and tooth paste.
In between my Dentist and Doctor Appointments I was able to go eat at one of my favorite places: Oko. It was one of the only reasons I liked working at NY & Company next door. They have delicious natural juices and sandwiches. No, they are not paying for my endorsement but I really love going there. I had the Gingered Beet & Apple juice and a Roasted Turkey sandwich. The juice is an acquired taste but I feel so healthy drinking it. I really wish there were something similar to Oko close to my job now so that I can eat good more often.
Next up was my doctor's appointment. Not very much to tell there, but it was another a-okay.
After that I was off to my old job - Rainbow - to visit my former manager and see if I liked anything. It was nice to go back and talk to him for a while. He is kind of a jerk sometimes but he's the kind of person that will be good to you if you are good to him. So I did stick around and catch up with him for a little while, and ended up buying some more clothes (with a discount).
Overall, my weekend was busy but it was good. I did enough clothes-shopping that I should be good for the summer. And it's good to know I'm healthy!
By the way if you'd like to check out Oko they have a location in Forest Hills (Queens) and Park Slope (Brookyn). Check out www.okoyogurt.com
Tuesday, June 22
Terrible (Twenty) Two's
I just turned 23 yesterday and despite all of my joking around, I really don't mind becoming a year older. (especially when strangers still think I'm 20)
Twenty-two was not a picnic in the park for me and I acknowledge that I spent most of that year in a negative funk. As much as I tried to be positive and "look on the bright side" of things I just couldn't. I entered into twenty-two unemployed (read: broke), with emotional baggage, drama, and overwhelming anxiety. All of those things followed me for months, and the anxiety even turned me into a turtle too afraid to come out of her shell.
Case in point: in July 2009 my brother's girlfriend said she could get me a job where she worked, she set up an interview with her boss once I said I was interested. My brother took me, I handed in my resume, we talked, we clicked, he said I could start next week. I spent the next few days being lazy before I had to get back into work-mode. The day before I start the new job comes and I am nervous and obsessing about what I'm going to wear, what the other workers will be like, and am I gonna look like a confused fool. My family tells me everything is going to be okay, Bros girlfriend says it's not a big deal I'll be fine. Back-to-work day comes, and I am tired from not sleeping and sick to my stomach from the nerves. I call out. That was how much the anxiety had started to take over my life that I couldn't even make it to my first day of work. Worse than that was our return from Maryland on Memorial Day but I digress.
The emotional baggage and drama followed me from 2008 and the cause of it was a faux-relationship with a guy I was too blind to see was so wrong for me. I don't regret that part of my life anymore because I did learn some valuable life lessons, but I still don't know that I needed to make so many mistakes to learn them. Up until a few months ago the outcome of that relationship was still a heavy weight on my shoulders. I was even trying to get something back that I gave up on last year because I was afraid of more failure. I was unwilling to put my heart back out there 'cause my mind couldn't even comprehend all that was going on. I knew I needed a change so I told myself that my birthday would be a renewal, a way to start over. I just didn't realize it was so hard to do. I constantly reminded myself that time would heal all the wounds and I should remain patient.
Needless to say my twenty-two's remained terrible for a while, and until a few weeks ago I was still back and forth with remaining positive. Now though, I can see the progress that I have made in my life and I appreciate how far I have come. I'm glad to say I have entered twenty-three with a lot of fun and smiles and I plan to keep at it.
Twenty-two was not a picnic in the park for me and I acknowledge that I spent most of that year in a negative funk. As much as I tried to be positive and "look on the bright side" of things I just couldn't. I entered into twenty-two unemployed (read: broke), with emotional baggage, drama, and overwhelming anxiety. All of those things followed me for months, and the anxiety even turned me into a turtle too afraid to come out of her shell.
Case in point: in July 2009 my brother's girlfriend said she could get me a job where she worked, she set up an interview with her boss once I said I was interested. My brother took me, I handed in my resume, we talked, we clicked, he said I could start next week. I spent the next few days being lazy before I had to get back into work-mode. The day before I start the new job comes and I am nervous and obsessing about what I'm going to wear, what the other workers will be like, and am I gonna look like a confused fool. My family tells me everything is going to be okay, Bros girlfriend says it's not a big deal I'll be fine. Back-to-work day comes, and I am tired from not sleeping and sick to my stomach from the nerves. I call out. That was how much the anxiety had started to take over my life that I couldn't even make it to my first day of work. Worse than that was our return from Maryland on Memorial Day but I digress.
The emotional baggage and drama followed me from 2008 and the cause of it was a faux-relationship with a guy I was too blind to see was so wrong for me. I don't regret that part of my life anymore because I did learn some valuable life lessons, but I still don't know that I needed to make so many mistakes to learn them. Up until a few months ago the outcome of that relationship was still a heavy weight on my shoulders. I was even trying to get something back that I gave up on last year because I was afraid of more failure. I was unwilling to put my heart back out there 'cause my mind couldn't even comprehend all that was going on. I knew I needed a change so I told myself that my birthday would be a renewal, a way to start over. I just didn't realize it was so hard to do. I constantly reminded myself that time would heal all the wounds and I should remain patient.
Needless to say my twenty-two's remained terrible for a while, and until a few weeks ago I was still back and forth with remaining positive. Now though, I can see the progress that I have made in my life and I appreciate how far I have come. I'm glad to say I have entered twenty-three with a lot of fun and smiles and I plan to keep at it.
Monday, June 21
Don't Call It A Comeback...
'Cause I don't really think it qualifies as one. As you can see from my previous entries it has been a very long time since I last blogged. For that I should kick myself. I've always wanted to get better at it and much more dedicated but i'm not big on the writing down my thoughts thing. Even the times in my past where I have kept a diary, I would write everyday for a week, then every other day, then every other week until it turned into 3 times a year!
Lately though I have had so much on my mind that I figured what's the harm in sharing that with friends and strangers. Maybe this will even help me become a better story teller, since honestly I have SUCKED at it in the past. I also need to acknowledge that I have been inspired by some bloggers who I follow on a near daily basis. I have such a good time reading what they have to say and just learning about their experiences that who knows maybe I can do the same for someone out there. Since I don't have too much more to say for the moment, I hope you will come back to find out what I have to say later.
Lately though I have had so much on my mind that I figured what's the harm in sharing that with friends and strangers. Maybe this will even help me become a better story teller, since honestly I have SUCKED at it in the past. I also need to acknowledge that I have been inspired by some bloggers who I follow on a near daily basis. I have such a good time reading what they have to say and just learning about their experiences that who knows maybe I can do the same for someone out there. Since I don't have too much more to say for the moment, I hope you will come back to find out what I have to say later.
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