Taking It Slow Is Good

I don't really understand what it is about you that makes me nervous. After so many years of knowing each other, I should be able to feel comfortable. But I think you've always had this effect on me. At least at first when we're getting to know each other again. It's not a bad kind of nervous..as a matter of fact my girl thinks it's cute you make me feel this way. And when I heard I was going to see you the other day I almost felt giddy. It definitely made my day.
It's just that this time feels a little different between us. I think maybe in our time apart we matured a little more. And I don't have any expectations on what we have going on. I know we have both been disappointed in the past. But I am glad that we've crossed each other's paths again. I kind of hope this won't be as quick of a visit as it has been before. And if you happen to read this..I just hope you know this is for you.

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Let's Get Physical

I've never thought of myself as someone who has a "type" of guy I am into. Whenever anyone has asked me what I like in a guy whether physical or personality-wise I always give pretty stock answers: honest, funny, strong arms, my height or taller. Pretty basic answers that are common. But the thing is, I just don't discriminate. I have dated guys who looked very different from one another, guys who are of different heights, and backgrounds. But I am starting to notice I do have a type of guy I am mostly attracted to. And I do mean more so physically. So who do I find sexy all around? Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
Okay, so maybe not as built as The Rock is but I definitely like that olive skin tone, dark eyes, low haircut and nice body look. Dark eyes is actually a feature I've always liked on guys. I myself have Light Brown eyes and while I like them on myself I'm just not attracted to guys with Light Brown, Green or Blue eyes. Must be something about staring into those dark mysterious eyes. Hair wise, I did date a guy with long hair before but a nice low Caesar or even a baldy works for me. Even though I was into the spiky look when I was younger. As for height, contrary to many other females I know, I don't like guys who are taller than 6'0". I have dated guys who are my height and while that isn't my preference I didn't really mind since I have been the flats/sneakers type usually and well it's just not extremely comfortable to kiss a guy who is so much taller. In this department my preference is around 5'9"-5'10". Since I am about 5'6" this is a comfortable height whether I am in flats or in heels. When it comes to a nice body, I really look forward to muscular arms. They just feel nice to be in. Safe and warm. And as I am getting older I do appreciate a fit body. I don't do a whole lot to keep myself in shape but the day I have to I will, and I gotta have someone who looks like they should be with me. That sounds a little vain but when it comes to physical preferences it just makes sense that I would be. And I do look for more than just physical qualities but that's another post for another day.
Oddly enough, I remembered I was gonna write this post about my preference while I was watching "Kourtney and Kim Take New York" last night. It was really when Kim was hanging out with Michael Copon. He is just, very cute.

I Am Free

Mayor

I get the feeling that Bloomberg only knows Manhattan. Now he wants to add more livery cabs in the outer boroughs? Um, to my knowledge we have plenty of livery cabs in Queens. And I'm sure there are plenty in Brooklyn and The Bronx, cause I've seen them. Usually if you can't call a cab you just go to the nearest train station and there are plenty of cabs around. I've even been honked at by livery cabs that are looking for a fare. Granted, sometimes there aren't cabs outside my train station but the hub is right there.
If Bloomberg really wants to help us, he should add some yellow cabs to the outer boroughs. We would definitely save a little money. And it's kind of funny to me to live in Richmond Hill where so many yellow cabbies are from. I mean I had a driver one day who lived 2 blocks away from me, and I see the yellow cabs in my neighborhood all the time. Although you know what? Ain't much Bloomberg can do to fix his reputation right now.

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Loving You

Yesterday morning I finished reading Portia De Rossi's book "Unbearable Lightness". It took only a few days to read since the book was so interesting. In it she discusses the struggles she went through with trying to stay thin in Hollywood. She thought that it was how she would become famous - that everyone would think she was beautiful and determined by all the pounds she lost and kept off. I honestly read the book in amazement. It's just confusing to me how she thought that at her height and with her body type she should be anywhere under 120 pounds. And when I saw the pictures of her at her lowest weight, it was terrifying.

It pains me to think about the many people that are struggling with their body image. The media puts so much emphasis on what the perfect body is and the ideal weight and size, and it really blinds people. Women start to think that they are fat and undesirable because they're a size 6. They think they need to be supermodel thin and all the models that are super thin are teenage girls who are unhealthy. It's a terrible ideal to try and live up to. Men suffer from issues with their image as well. I remember a guy I was in college with. I always thought he was too skinny when I would see him around, and when I saw him months ago he looked even worse. It actually weirded me out to see him walking because he looked so painfully thin.

I really wish that people could love themselves as they truly are. It seems we always find something to complain about. But as long as you are healthy, whether that means you are skinny or a little chunky, you should be happy with yourself. I often find myself to be too skinny, but I am learning that this is my body. I take my clothes off and appreciate what I see. I still have curves. Just because some clothes fit me a little looser or I can't fit into certain tops is no reason not to love my body.

For anyone who has had body issues. Who have struggled with dieting. Who don't like what they see in the mirror. Who think that a size 2 is the perfect size. Please read her book. Once you start to appreciate yourself, and you identify why you have the image issues you do you will be on the first step to overcoming them.

New York Men Suck.

Millionaire Matchmaker Blames Selfish Guys for New York's Terrible Dating Scene

This post is in reference to the article I linked to above..a friend on Facebook linked to it and that's how I found out. I'm kinda glad I did too. I definitely believe what she said is true. There are plenty of guys in New York who want a relationship, want to have someone to share their life with but in my experience those guys are already in a relationship. Every single guy (single as in not in a relationship, not each one) I encounter does not want to have a girlfriend and doesn't know when they will "be ready" for one. I don't totally understand it. I mean, if you end up meeting someone who is great and you like their company what's the harm in taking that a little further? I think people just need to stop being afraid of taking a chance. Something that I like about Patti is that she shows how the problems in dating are shared by Men and Women. Just in case you think the article is bashing men, it really is not. She gives women some tips to open their minds as well.

Dedication To This Blog

So, I said I wanted to be more dedicated to this blog from now on. Not a resolution per se just something I want to do and know that I can accomplish. My problem is actually finding the time to write here. When I get home from work I don't usually turn my computer on. I like to use those few hours to shower, eat and unwind watching a little tv. When I'm at work, well obviously it's difficult because I'm supposed to be working. Which I am right now, I just have a little downtime so I decided to sneak in a post. And well, weekends aren't really a time I care to spend with my computer either. I'd rather find something to do outside, or catch up with whatever movie I have been meaning to watch from Netflix. If there is a Blogger App for my phone, that would be extremely helpful. I do a lot of my Tumblr posts from my phone now since their App is so easy to use. I guess we'll see what happens over time. I just need to get more organized. Either set deadlines for myself, or write up my posts the minute I have a new idea in my head.

Only Time Can Tell

I hardly believe I'm back in the stage of trying to forget about him..trying to forget my feelings for him. Just as quickly as things started up again, they kind of fell apart. And I'm sad to even mention anything, especially on this blog. But maybe if I get this out I won't have to speak about it again. Maybe this will even be the last time I try to convince myself that things are better this way. That it wouldn't work out anyway. Well, good luck with that. Things were back to how they once were until he "spoke too soon" and as much as I hoped it wouldn't change a thing, sometimes words can't be taken back. We both agreed it wouldn't change things and that it didn't have to but I noticed a change in him almost immediately. And I didn't think to remind myself to not get used to him again. But I have to admit that I'm gonna miss his kiss..his embrace..the text messages saying "I miss you"..and especially hearing him say "te quiero". Yup, that's the killer right there. And I know the saying that you can't miss what you never had should apply here but this was different. I used to also think that the third time was the charm but in this case the third time was a strikeout. At least I'm not afraid to move on, if mostly because I know I could use the distraction. But also, because I'm hoping someone else could help me forget.