"Granted, I know many men AND women who “seize the day,” but when it comes to relationships? Like my girl said, “Most men only think about the next 30 minutes.” AT THAT. This isn’t to say women shake a guys hand and immediately think of what color curtains to put in their child’s nursery, it’s just that once a woman like me catches feelings, we start to think about the bigger picture. Not about love, marriage, or a baby-carriage – more about getting hurt.
Because it’s all fun and games, and taking things day by day until five months down the line you find yourself making two different batches of spaghetti (‘cuz who the hell else eats whole-grain noodles asides from you?) and realize you’ve fallen in love with this man who still tells other people the two of you are just “going with the flow.”"
I think this is the second time I quote Abi from the "Girls Are The New Boys" blog, but I swear she's just too ON POINT sometimes. Click on the link below to read her entire post.
Carpe Dayum
Wednesday, May 11
Tuesday, May 3
Facebook the Home-Wrecker
We all know those couples that have broken up because of Facebook (or MySpace, or Migente if you wanna take it real back). We all end up being witnesses as the break-up unfolds before our computer screens and can't help watching because let's face it, it's funny. Then there are those couples who delete their profiles because Facebook "only gets people in trouble." Smh, yea sure.
I honestly don't believe the internet can ruin any relationship. And using Facebook as an excuse is just LAME. Facebook didn't force you to post up a half naked picture, or force all your groupies to leave comments. Also, no one said it was mandatory for you to discuss your relationship so that the minute it seems something is going wrong you got the "next" waiting to console you. See the point I'm getting at here?
People get into arguments over their online life because they're dumb. Why would you post something up without thinking about how it would affect the person you're with? Why do you need people commenting on every new picture about how hot and sexy you look? That is the reason why some of you are constantly updating your pictures isn't it? We are a vain society and require others to remind us that we are still interesting and attractive. I assume that's also why a lot of people update their status every 30 minutes. They want to seem relevant.
If everyone learns to control their need for attention there would be no deleting of profiles for couples. Learn to respect each other and be understanding of each other's needs. If I have a boyfriend there is no way I'm gonna post up suggestive pictures or for that matter post up new pictures every two days. For you men, that means stop taking shirtless pictures flexing your muscles. I mean if you go to the beach then of course you'll want to share pictures..but ladies, not the one of you sticking your butt at the camera. Be mindful especially of the things you say. Don't put your business out there, Facebook is not a gossip magazine and you are not a celebrity. Your friends aren't interested in every detail of your love life. And if your significant other tells you they are uncomfortable by something you posted, figure out why that is and delete it if it's a problem. Communication is the key people.
I honestly don't believe the internet can ruin any relationship. And using Facebook as an excuse is just LAME. Facebook didn't force you to post up a half naked picture, or force all your groupies to leave comments. Also, no one said it was mandatory for you to discuss your relationship so that the minute it seems something is going wrong you got the "next" waiting to console you. See the point I'm getting at here?
People get into arguments over their online life because they're dumb. Why would you post something up without thinking about how it would affect the person you're with? Why do you need people commenting on every new picture about how hot and sexy you look? That is the reason why some of you are constantly updating your pictures isn't it? We are a vain society and require others to remind us that we are still interesting and attractive. I assume that's also why a lot of people update their status every 30 minutes. They want to seem relevant.
If everyone learns to control their need for attention there would be no deleting of profiles for couples. Learn to respect each other and be understanding of each other's needs. If I have a boyfriend there is no way I'm gonna post up suggestive pictures or for that matter post up new pictures every two days. For you men, that means stop taking shirtless pictures flexing your muscles. I mean if you go to the beach then of course you'll want to share pictures..but ladies, not the one of you sticking your butt at the camera. Be mindful especially of the things you say. Don't put your business out there, Facebook is not a gossip magazine and you are not a celebrity. Your friends aren't interested in every detail of your love life. And if your significant other tells you they are uncomfortable by something you posted, figure out why that is and delete it if it's a problem. Communication is the key people.
Tuesday, April 26
My Friend
So I realize this post may be similar to one I wrote about a month ago "Official Girl" but let's get into it anyway..
After some time of hanging out with someone/dating someone, however you want to put it, comes the question of "what are we?" Of course for some this topic comes up because they really want to establish some kind of "title" ::cringe:: for their relationship to each other. For some of us, it's to simplify our lives. You ever had someone ask you what you did this past weekend and let's just say you had plans with your special someone, you sit there just not knowing how to refer to them? I just think it takes longer to say and it may invite nosy people to ask questions if you say "oh, with this guy I've been seeing." And frankly it gets tiring to say after a while. Why isn't there just a simple word that means "the person I've been dating/hanging out with/seeing"? Sure I could just say "my friend" but sometimes you want people to know that it's more than a friend. And you may not want to start using phrases like "my boo" if you ain't even calling each other that.
Now, let me be extra clear on something. I am in no way looking for a title for myself or my special friend and our whatever-it-is LOL. Titles of any kind imply certain behaviors that people sometimes feel pressure to act on. I hate to think that things are ever "supposed" to be a certain way. Things are however you want them to be regardless of what you call each other. I know what I have and what I feel and that's it for me. And what will use when I refer to this person? Well I guess it depends who's asking and what I feel like saying.
After some time of hanging out with someone/dating someone, however you want to put it, comes the question of "what are we?" Of course for some this topic comes up because they really want to establish some kind of "title" ::cringe:: for their relationship to each other. For some of us, it's to simplify our lives. You ever had someone ask you what you did this past weekend and let's just say you had plans with your special someone, you sit there just not knowing how to refer to them? I just think it takes longer to say and it may invite nosy people to ask questions if you say "oh, with this guy I've been seeing." And frankly it gets tiring to say after a while. Why isn't there just a simple word that means "the person I've been dating/hanging out with/seeing"? Sure I could just say "my friend" but sometimes you want people to know that it's more than a friend. And you may not want to start using phrases like "my boo" if you ain't even calling each other that.
Now, let me be extra clear on something. I am in no way looking for a title for myself or my special friend and our whatever-it-is LOL. Titles of any kind imply certain behaviors that people sometimes feel pressure to act on. I hate to think that things are ever "supposed" to be a certain way. Things are however you want them to be regardless of what you call each other. I know what I have and what I feel and that's it for me. And what will use when I refer to this person? Well I guess it depends who's asking and what I feel like saying.
Wednesday, April 20
Untitled.
As a female, I am guillty of not saying enough but still believing I will be understood. They say a closed mouth doesn't get fed and here I am starving. I know the solution to the problem, I just don't know exactly what I want to say or how it will be received. So I will remain here in limbo for as long as I can stand to. And to a good friend who will likely read this - yes I know I'm stupid.
Thursday, April 14
Brain Mumbles
A lot of people like to point out how quiet I am. How I can be in a room full of people with multiple conversations going on but won't say a word. And it isn't only because I like to listen and observe. Sometimes I just feel like it's pointless to say anything at all. And I do know that some conversations are had just to be had. Not everything needs to have a point to be said. But I do wonder if sometimes I say too little. There definitely are times when I say too much. But I do know there are times when I should speak up and I don't.
Okay, I'm not totally making sense right now..what I mean is that I can probably stand to open myself up a little more to people. That's kind of what I hope to do with this blog but that's not saying much since I've always been better at writing down my thoughts than actually voicing them.
When I wrote this I was just writing everything that was coming to my mind, so this is pretty much the way my thoughts come in. And I thought it would be better to just leave it as is =-)
Okay, I'm not totally making sense right now..what I mean is that I can probably stand to open myself up a little more to people. That's kind of what I hope to do with this blog but that's not saying much since I've always been better at writing down my thoughts than actually voicing them.
When I wrote this I was just writing everything that was coming to my mind, so this is pretty much the way my thoughts come in. And I thought it would be better to just leave it as is =-)
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