Spread My Wings

Lately in my house there's been a lot of talk about moving out. Not just about me moving out, but about my parents moving, my sister moving, where everyone is moving and who they are moving with. It's almost like we have all decided to make our separate moves at the same time. My parents want to live in warmer climates, my sister wants to live with her boyfriend and I just want to break away from the nest. Therein lies the issue.
I can't even count how many times my stepfather has told me that I should move in with my sister. I am sure my future roommate has lost count of how many times her mom has told her she shouldn't move out (even though she did it once before). What I hope is that no one in my family has been offended by my immediate response of "hell no." I really don't mean any harm by that and I don't mean to make anyone feel like I am trying to dis my sister. I personally don't believe that I would be comfortable living with a couple anyway.
I actually didn't want to live with anyone at all for a long time. My plan was to find myself a Studio close enough to home that I wouldn't freak out at the thought of finally being on my own. But I also don't want to be as far from Manhattan as I am now. And that is why I came to the conclusion that I should find a roommate. Having a roommate would mean that I would be more comfortable living further away from my family because I wouldn't feel so alone. The challenge there was finding a friend I could actually live with and not harm our friendship, but I digress.
I really want to live on my own because I feel that at 23 years old I'm falling behind on being an adult. I want to be independent and really learn how to take care of myself. I actually have a problem with anxiety and have been prone to panic attacks. I want to get over that because it's stupid to be so afraid of living. But how am I going to achieve that if I don't try?
I'm grateful and thankful to my family for always taking care of me but at some point everyone has to fend for themselves. Well, I'm ready.

Why Are You Single?

Ugh, as if I didn't dislike that question enough already I really feel like I have gotten my share of it lately. Yet every time I get the question, I'm not exactly sure what to say. Partly it's because I don't know the intentions of the person asking. And mostly it's because it's a weird question to answer. Am I really supposed to answer honestly and tell the person asking all about my love life? Or do I just give a stock answer like "I haven't found what I am looking for"? Better yet, can I just say "It's none of your damn business" or would that be too rude?
I don't exactly mean this for people who know me. I know that a lot of my friends and acquaintances ask because they think I'm a catch and would just figure I would have a boyfriend. The problem when a stranger asks though is that sometimes it seems as though they are just trying to find out if something is wrong with you. Like depending on what you answer it will validate their idea that you're probably crazy. Or maybe, I'm just being paranoid. But it really is an annoying question to get. So if you are going to ask me, at least compliment me in the process and change the question to "How could you possibly be single?"

Grammys 2011

I just felt like posting what I thought about the fashion at this year's Grammy Awards. I know it's an award where people like to push the envelope and come out with their most "edgy" or "creative" looks but some people were just plain ridiculous - i.e. Nicki Minaj.

I think Mya is looking pretty good nowadays..but I didn't like the bottom of her dress. It was a little too busy and reminded me of a table cloth.


*sigh* Rihanna, always trying to wear something fashionable and daring..this dress was just tacky. I just wasn't feeling the naked-ness.


Ricky looked good, except for the pants. They were just a bit too tight.


Kim looked hot. I am loving this look for the Grammys.


I don't believe Margaret Cho is someone who is looked to for being fashionable but I am so in love with this look. I would love to have this dress in multiple colors.


I think from head to ankles Keri looks great. The shoes could've been a little more fabolous though.


No. Just no. Even for Katy this is just too much crazy.


My favorite look of the night. Julianne's dress is absolutely gorgeous.


I've got to admit, J.Lo is looking good. The dress is a tad bit short but she's got great legs.


This is another look that I absolutely adore!


Eva just looks so cute. She can definitely pull off this kind of dress with her height and body type. It's perfect for someone petite.


Dianna Agron is a beautiful girl and this look doesn't showcase that for me. The heavy make-up is distracting and the all-black look just not flattering for her. She could have done so much better.


Did Ciara and Katy Perry get dressed together?


I have to give Amber props for this look. I have seen her at other awards and press events and this is my favorite look from her so far. It really fits her well.

Just A Rant

I have a problem with women who get pregnant to trap a man. Or should I say to try and "trap" him. It's a really distorted way of thinking. That just because you get pregnant he's going to fall in love with you, or want to marry you or something. Well I've never seen either of those things. What I have seen is him complain about having to do more hours at work or maybe take a second job. What I've seen is him call her crazy and a bitch.

Eventually what happens is they both resent each other. Yes, they got a great gift out of what they once shared but now she looks at him with anger because he didn't want to be a family and he's looking at her thinking she's the enemy because he wasn't ready to be a daddy and stop being a bachelor. In the rare occasion that these people end up getting married or moving in together, it's usually to save face. He doesn't want to seem like a bad person so he gives the situation a try only to end up sleeping on the couch most nights. And she just keeps playing along like she's happy and like things are a-okay because at that point she wishes she would have never been involved with him.

Maybe im not much of an authority on this topic but I have known these guys. I haven't really known any of these women but if anyone is reading this and taking offense, just know it wasn't my intention but you may need to take another look at yourself. It just pains me when people do things without fully thinking. I mean we all do something stupid or silly when we love someone at some point but for something that will be life-altering, the pros and cons really need to be weighed out. Especially when it's going to affect more than just you. And remember what they say about assumptions...

Just A Thought

Whenever I am surprised to find out someone my age has a kid or is pregant I start to question if I should really be surprised. I mean I'm not a teenager anymore. Back in my parents day everyone was married with kids by 23-24. So why is it a shock? Maybe it's because I know it's not easy to have children so young. Especially as a woman with dreams. I have never wanted to get married and have children. And of course whenever I would say that people would tell me it's because I was young and as I got older I would want all of that. Well they were right. But I don't want it yet. I feel like I am too young to have a family. That's not saying anything about the people who do. I just want to still do a lot of things that I could not do if I had a child. And I'm not totally sold on the idea of getting married. I like weddings, I would love to attend some. I think it's beautiful the love two people can have for each other. But I have also seen how that love and bliss turns into hate and remorse. Even among those that aren't married and just have kids. Maybe even more so. I guess what surprises me is that these people are brave enough to have a child. It changes your life. Hopefully for the better, but it is a big deal either way. All I know is I am terrified, and so not ready.

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