Building a Foundation

I went to a wedding recently and some thing that one of the guest's said has stuck with me. I can't say it's something I didn't know about love and relationships already but it was reaffirmed for me. Basically, the guest was talking about the Bride and Groom and how much they have changed each other's lives through support for each other. Before they met they were each in a funk of their own and maybe a little lost. But since being together their friends and family have noticed that they build each other up, and through this they have already started to build a foundation for their life together.

I absolutely believe that to be in a successful relationship with someone there has to be understanding, respect and honesty. You have to have a partner who will support you and be a positive force in your life. Some days ago, I spoke with a friend who told me that when they expressed their dreams to their partner they kind of scoffed at them and pretty much told them they weren't going to make anything of themselves. That was deeply disturbing to me because it breeds an unhealthy relationship. It's definitely not the way I would want to start one.

I'm glad to be with someone who is first and foremost my friend. He believes in me and I believe in him. It's important to have someone that is going to bring you up and not push you down. Someone who belittles you and projects their negative views of the world onto you has problems of their own that they need to overcome before they can be in a healthy relationship. I am by far not an expert on relationships and I know it isn't right to judge one that you aren't in but I've witnessed and comforted friends who were in these types of relationships. People have their reasons for staying but I don't believe anyone should be unhappy at the hands of the person they are choosing to spend their lives with.

Any thoughts?

Nice Girls Finish Last

I know that nowadays there's a lot of people complaining about finding a good man or woman, and I want to speak my piece on it. Some people (read: guys) think that it is very easy for a woman to find someone and that most of us are just complaining for no reason. I know also that a lot of women say it is easy for men to find someone but [supposedly] they are all dogs and break every woman's heart. I'm not sure I agree with either or really disagree. See, I have met a lot of honest men and women but I've also known a lot of douche bags on both sides. That's really where the problem is - you fall for someone they f*ck you over and then you don't really want to trust again.

Why nice girls finish last:

I've met some guys who are honest, and loyal but some dumb greedy b*tch decided to take advantage of that and now he doesn't want to trust another girl. Those girls piss me off 'cause I'm not one of them. I've always been an honest person, sometimes too outspoken and when I really care for someone I wear my heart on my sleeve for them. It's not fair to me to be deserving of trust but not receiving it because he is still harboring feelings of hurt. You might read this and say "well you probably do the same!" and okay, fine I do have my own bad experiences in the back of my mind but I don't hold what someone else did against the person I am trying to build something with at the moment.

I feel that you have to take the chance on someone if they are showing you that they want trust and that they deserve it. No matter what the past has presented you, you can't let it hold you back. Why deprive yourself of happiness and pleasure because of some worthless person who did you wrong? I'm gonna sound like a cliche even more now but you have to just let your experiences make you stronger and forgive that person. I know it's hard to forgive but holding onto negativity isn't healthy. Also, you really don't gain anything from it.

So all you nice girls be good to your nice boys..and nice boys if you find a nice girl, trust her.