Best Friends

I have never been the "girlfriends" type. The girl who has a set group of female friends who she is always with. The girl whose best friend is like a daughter to her parents because they've known each other that long. But I have wanted to be this girl. I've always wanted to have that friend I can call on when I meet a guy and develop a crush on him. That friend that I can call at midnight when he's pissing me off and I need some advice. And especially that friend that I can lean on when he breaks my heart because she knows everything that we have been through.
It's actually not fair to say I haven't had that friend or that I don't have them now. One of my biggest issues is that two of the people I feel are that sister-friend live hundreds of miles away from me. I still consider myself to be close to the both of them but the relationship(s) I am talking about here need to be more than just someone I can call. I always wanted to have that friend so compatible to me that I tell them what I want to do and they automatically want to pavticipate. Someone that always has time to just hang out. Someone who knows all my secrets. Someone who accepts me for all the good and bad and who lets me know when I'm being a bitch. And yes, I know I'm being tad bit greedy.
I do have a small set of girls I consider to be my "group." The three I usually call when I'm invited out somewhere. The same three that I tell people about when they ask about my best friend. The same ones I am taking a trip with next month. But my relationship with them is not exactly what I wish I had. As it's happened with other females I have been very close to we don't really get to see each other as much as we would like. Life always geps in the way somehow. I'm sad that it happened with my closest girls after high school. Once we started at different colleges it was inevitable that we would drift apart a bit. And these three girls that I met when I started college, well we've stuck together so far.. but it absolutely sucks that we mostly get together for Birthdays. Or whenever our schedules seem to synchronize.
I understand that people always think what they want is simple. But what I want truly is simple, as long as we all want the same things from each other. I want to celebrate with her when she lands the job of her dreams. I want to be a bridesmaid at their weddings. I want to be one of the first to know she's pregnant. I want to be there when the baby is born or at least the day after. I want to seek out their tips when I start going through menopause. I want to see her face when she tells me she is going to be a grandmother. I want to be their soulmate when the men in our lives just aren't enough.
To this trip we are taking together in just a few weeks, I raise my glass and toast to the hope that it will bring us closer together.